Your Most Important Task and Dating
For the last couple of months, I have been trying to implement Most Important Task (MIT) an idea popularized by Leo Babauta.
The idea, which he outlines in his post Purpose Your Day: Most Important Task (MIT), is that your MIT is the task that you most need to get done today. He goes on to say that it should be related to one of your goals. Finally, he suggests that you do it first thing in the morning because then you know that you have moved forward on one of your most important goals.
I love the idea, especially the part where you do it first thing in the morning so that you get that feeling of accomplishment early in the day, however, it hasn’t been going all that well. Why? I’ve been having trouble determining my MIT.
With some goals, your most important task isn't clear
It’s fairly easy to identify an MIT at work because if I need to give a presentation on Tuesday my MIT for the days leading up to Tuesday will be to work on the presentation.
But when I look at a goal like learning French, it falls apart. There are a million ways to learn French. I could take online classes, offline classes, watch movies, listen to French podcasts, or download a language learning app. Or, I could marry someone who’s French and spend family holidays in immersive French. (I’ve tried this approach and it isn’t nearly as effective as doing Duolingo daily!)
With some goals, it can be hard to know how to ensure that the goal/dream becomes a reality. Even with to-do lists, new years resolutions, and intention setting we stumble here and bumble there.
Our inability to know our MIT can be especially frustrating when our news feeds are filled with stories of people who seem to effortlessly know how to learn a language fluently in 3 months or transform a business idea into a five-figure passive income stream.
What does any of this have to do with dating?
When you set out to meet a partner, you don’t know where you are going to find that partner. You may meet him/her at work, at a party, on a dating app, or on a trip. The possibilities are endless. It’s impossible to choose an MIT because you don’t know which task is going to bring the success that we seek.
While true, this can be frustrating if you value efficient, effective action and a well-organized to-do list.
Here is what I recommend instead of MIT when you are dating:
- Start with what you do know and what you can control.
I don’t know which way to learn French is going to be most effective for me, but I do know which activities I am mostf likely to do consistently. I also know how much time I have to spend daily this goal so I should choose something that takes that amount of time.
- Focus on the process not the results.
One client decided that going on two coffee dates a week was the right dating cadence for her. Another decided to attend a local Spanish Language meet-up on Mondays and play trivia on Tuesdays. Both activities brought her into weekly contact with other single men. Whatever you decide is the appropriate amount of dating for you, focus on achieving that. If you completed your two dates per week, focus on celebrating that, not the outcome of any one date.
- Keep your spirits up
Achieving a cherished goal whether it’s finding a partner, learning French, or running a marathon is rarely a straight line. There is often a gap between the steps we take to achieve the goal and the results. It can often feel like you are working, working, working and nothing is changing. This is especially true of dating which, because it’s so binary you can often feel like you are making no progress at all.
If you find yourself getting discouraged, ask for help. A sister, a close friend, a therapist, or a coach can help you stay on track until you achieve your dream.
Good luck! Let me know how it goes!
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women, just like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to leverage your business skills to meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.
Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.
To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.
