Your dating profile: Asking for feedback
When your dating profile isn’t attracting the attention that you had hoped for, who do you ask for help and feedback? Most women turn to their best friend or their sister or perhaps a friend who has more experience or success dating.
And while there is nothing wrong with those answers, there is one type of person who you should absolutely be sure to ask - the type of person you are hoping to meet. In marketing, this is called your target customer.
You want to date someone, not anyone
When you are dating your target “customer” has an age range, a gender, and likely some characteristics that are important to you. If you aren’t sure who you are trying to meet, spend some time working on your dating criteria.
In marketing, it’s a best practice to identify a target customer and then write your advertising copy to talk directly to that customer. For example, a Facebook ad for skin cream written for a middle-aged gal with a dry skin face might talk about healing parched skin or the luxuriant, creamy quality of the product while the message targeted to an adolescent customer with oily skin might focus on moisturizing without breakouts.
Write your dating app profile with your ideal partner in mind
Similarly, when you craft your dating profile, you will want to do it with your ideal partner in mind. The first step is to figure out who you are trying to attract with your dating profile. You may be clear that you want to date men within 5 years of your own age and that you would prefer brown hair, but to create a compelling profile you need to also be clear on the values and interests that you are trying to attract.
After you have considered these things, it's time to write your profile. You can learn more about writing a dating profile here and here and here. Once you have finished your profile, it’s time to ask for feedback. This is where many women can go astray.
Recently, I saw that a woman had posted her dating profile on Reddit and asked for feedback. This is not an ideal approach because you don’t know who is giving you feedback. Is it someone you would enjoy dating or a psychopath?
While it can be tempting to ask people close to you like your best friend, or your adult kids, for feedback on your dating profile, try to get feedback from someone as close to your ideal partner as possible. When choosing the right person to ask, focus on things like their values and how you feel when you are with them more than how they dress or what they for work.
Do you know a person who you would have loved to date, if only you had gotten there first? Maybe it’s a close friend’s husband. Maybe it’s a guy at work. Maybe it's someone who has a personality that is similar to your brother's. If you don’t have someone who is ideal, choose someone who's close. Ideally, you’ll want to get feedback from 3-5 people.
Asking for feedback on your app profile
When asking for feedback, ask your question and then listen. You may want to take notes or record the conversation so that you capture the details.
Here are some questions to ask:
- What stands out to you in this profile?
- What do you like about the profile?
- What would you suggest changing?
- If you read this profile online would you want to reach out to the person? Why or why not?
- If they are online dating or have online dated, you can also ask, what types of things do you look for in a profile?
Don't argue with the feedback!
Whatever the feedback you receive, don’t allow yourself to be drawn into explaining why you wrote what you wrote. You want to hear the person’s opinion. The person that you are asking will likely interpret your profile differently than you intended. That is the whole point of asking. Your goal is to learn how your ideal partner reacts to what you’ve written.
Pay attention to strong emotions
The next step is for you to spend some time alone considering their comments. Do you agree with what they’ve said? Are there things in your profile that need to be polished or rewritten? Do you disagree with anything they’ve said? Pay close attention to any strong feelings you may have about something they’ve said. There is often important information about yourself hidden in strong emotions.
What if you don’t have the right friend to ask? A dating coach can partner with you to uncover what is special about you and help you write a profile that captures the real you.
Good luck!
Ready to develop a dating profile to help you find your Mr. Right faster? I can help!
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women, just like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to leverage your business skills to meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.
Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.
To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.
