New Year, New Love: Use Your 2023 New Year's Resolution to Meet Your Match

"One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." – Henry Miller

Is finding true love in 2023 at the top of your list of New Year's resolutions?  But what if the way you approach New Year's resolutions is actually hindering your progress? What if the way you approach New Year's resolutions is all wrong?

In the years before I met my husband, every year my New Year's resolution was to find true love. Every. Single. Year. And for 4 years I failed. But it wasn't until I stepped back and took a hard look at my approach that I began to understand why.

Why your New Year’s resolution to find a great partner to date isn't working

What I’ve realized is that my New Year's resolution didn’t support me in achieving my goal. It was too binary.  As a society, we are obsessed with achieving very specific outcomes and New Year's resolutions are no exception. Whether the goal is finding true love, getting promoted, or publishing a book, we focus on a binary outcome: win or lose, success or failure. 

That was certainly true for me. Each year, either I won the jackpot and found my guy or it was back to the dating trenches, where it was easy to beat myself up over the lack of progress that I had made.

But what if you shift your focus from the outcome to the process? What if, instead of resolving to find true love, you resolve to date more, set better boundaries, and say no to men who will never be a fit?  What if you shift your focus from the end goal to the process and how you can improve your process? Your goal may not be guaranteed, but the journey will be more fulfilling.

Choose a New Year's resolution that helps you find a great partner

Start by taking an honest look at your dating life.  What isn't working? What are one or two dating problems that you would like to eliminate this year?

• Are you spending too much time on dead-end text conversations?
• Are you attracting the same type of person over and over?
• Are you having trouble meeting high-quality partners?

Once you’ve identified what isn’t working, the next step is to ask yourself what you want to do to change it. it's easy to fall into the trap of focusing on how we want the situation to change or what we want others to do differently.  But real change comes from within. So Instead of resolving to change the situation or the other person, in this exercise, focus on changing yourselves.

Ask yourself, "What can I do differently?"If you're having trouble meeting high-quality partners, maybe it's time to explore new ways of meeting people.  If potential partners drift away after several days of texting, you may choose to limit how much texting you do before setting up a date. 

Ask yourself how you have to be to achieve your dating resolution

American society focuses a lot on the act of doing.  But, true change happens when you shift your focus to how you are being as well as what you are doing. When it comes to dating, this means taking a step back and examining not only your actions but also your mindset

As you look towards the new year, ask yourself how you want to evolve the way you date in 2023. Ensure that your dating goals focus on what you want to get better at, what you want to learn, or what kind of dating experiences you have in 2023.

SMART goals 

Now that you have your goal how will know when you've achieved it?  This is where the concept of SMART goals comes into play. SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. By setting SMART goals, you can able to focus your efforts and ensure that your goals are achievable.

Be accountable

While it's easy to be motivated in the moment, how can you ensure that you stick to your commitments when life gets busy? How will you hold yourself accountable?  Who will you ask for help?

One effective way to be more accountable is to ask others for help.  One of my clients, for example, set a goal to go on two dates per month. To motivate herself, she asked her friends to sponsor her and donate $5 to her favorite charity for every date she went on. The impact of their donations to a cause that's important to her was a powerful motivator for her to achieve her monthly dating goal.

Another client decided to schedule dinner with a friend after a first date. This way, even if the date didn't go well, she still had something to look forward to.  This added an extra layer of accountability, as she didn't want to disappoint her friend.

So, as you enter the new year, shift your focus from the act of doing to the act of being the person you want to be when dating. Say goodbye to binary goal setting and set a goal that will support you in finding a find a quality partner who is worthy of you.  Make this the year that you find true love. 

 Did you set a New Year's resolution around dating? Send me an email and let me know!

 Good luck!

About Me 

Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women, just like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers.

If you find yourself struggling to achieve your New Year's dating resolution, I can help.

As a coach, I understand that each person's journey to a great partner is unique. That's why I offer customized coaching plans that take into account your individual needs and situation

Together, we will work towards uncovering the underlying patterns and beliefs that may be holding you back from finding the relationship that you are looking for and we map out a plan that is tailored to you.  I will be there to support you every step of the way.

Don't let another year pass without finding the love you deserve. Schedule a free strategy session and begin your journey toward the partner of your dreams.