How to bounce back after a breakup (or other unpleasant dating experience)

dating advice
Image of a women writing in a journal to overcome the  heartache of a bad dating experienceheart

Breakups, ghosting, and other dating heartaches can leave you feeling lost, defeated, and questioning why you even bother trying to meet a worthy partner.

But what if there was a powerful tool to help you process these dating disappointments faster, a simple yet effective way to overcome the setback and emerge stronger? “Expressive writing”, a technique developed by James Pennebaker of the University of Texas, has proven to be an effective method for overcoming life's painful disruptions. The technique involves writing about your painful experience as a way to process the experience.

Proof that it works

In a study of laid-off individuals, Pennebakers showed that those who practiced expressive writing not only handled the fallout better but also landed new jobs faster. More than half (53%) of the expressive writing group found full-time employment in the 8 months after the study, compared with 24 % of the control group

According to James Pennebaker, writing about difficult life experiences allows people to develop a deeper understanding of their emotions. The writer gains insight and control of the narrative. Finally, when you write about an event you move beyond just describing it and start to give meaning and purpose to it.

Recover from a dating disappointment faster

But what if you're not in the job market? What if you are trying to get over a breakup, or if you are looking for a great guy to date or marry? There is magic in writing for you too.

Writing can help bring order to your swirling thoughts projects, and self-talk. When you write down your ideas, they become more concrete. In the process, you uncover hidden assumptions and logical gaps. Ultimately, your thoughts become clearer, which allows you greater insight.

Adam Grant, in his book "Hidden Potential," agrees. He sees writing “as a tool for learning. Writing exposes gaps in your knowledge and logic. It pushes you to articulate assumptions and consider counterarguments.”

Expressive writing won't erase all the pain or discouragement overnight, but it will fast-track understanding, healing, and resilience.

Ready to give expressive writing a shot? Pennebaker has shown that as little as 15 minutes a day of writing can have an impact. So, grab a pen, a journal, and a pen, and let the journey begin.

Feeling stuck and discouraged after a bad dating experience? Set up a call so I can help!

Good luck!


About Me 

Hi, I’m Rachel and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers.

If you are struggling to find a great partner to date or marry, I can help.

As a coach, I understand that each person's journey to a great partner is unique. That's why I offer customized coaching plans for your situation.

Together, we will work towards uncovering the underlying patterns and beliefs that may be holding you back from finding the relationship you are looking for and we map out a plan tailored to you.  I will be there to support you every step of the way.

Don't let another year pass without finding the love you deserve. Contact me today to schedule a free strategy session and begin your journey toward the partner of your dreams. 

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